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A Simple Idea to Help Children With Anxiety

It’s 6:45 am, and I can hear him screaming 2 floors away. I grumble, set down my coffee, and make a sarcastic remark about “another great day” as I head up the stairs to sort this out.

Anxiety has destroyed the peace in my house.

OK, I have 3 boys. Maybe not the peace. But definitely the joy.

What wouldn’t I give to start the day with happiness? With little smiling faces coming down the stairs?

Instead, I see little faces who have already lost the battle with control and overwhelm, and can’t bear for me to even say good morning to them.

Managing Anxiety In Kids Under 10

In my experience, managing anxiety, especially childhood anxiety, is about creating a balance between control and overwhelm. When you have anxiety, you have the sense that you can’t control anything.

Which can be a big problem, because kids don’t naturally have a lot of control.

One easy way to give that control back to them is to give them specific times and tasks that they can assert their independence. Not only will this help them gain a bit of control- it’s completely developmentally appropriate!

[bctt tweet=”Managing childhood anxiety is about creating a balance between control and overwhelm” prompt=”tell a friend”]

The Simple Idea to Help Children With Anxiety

Let them choose what to wear.

The specific solution I’m sharing today is letting your kid choose what to wear in the morning (or the evening for pjs) and then dress themselves. And the nice thing about this task is that, for as long as your kid is wearing those clothes, they are a reminder that they were able to make a choice for themselves.

Even kids as young as 2 can choose their clothes! And it gives them such a sense of satisfaction. Has your kid even come to you, fully dressed in the morning, with that look of pride on their face? The look that says, “Hey, I’m awesome, Mom! Look what amazing thing I did!”

And while that look definitely wears off for slightly older kids, they still love the chance to start expressing themselves and their personal choices.

Yes, your kid may decide to wear plaid and stripes together, or may decide that a neon orange athletic shirt is a great look under a button-down. As long as they’re dressed appropriately for the weather, just think of it as a chance to choose your battles. 😉

Clothes Can Cause More Anxiety

Unfortunately, sometimes the clothes can be more of a struggle than a solution. A kid with anxiety can easily get overwhelmed if there could be too many choices.

Or a child with perfectionist tendencies may get stuck, doubting their ability to match something.

Maybe the clothes are uncomfortable for your kid, and there are weird seams or tags they need to avoid. (It’s not uncommon for kids with anxiety to also have sensory issues.) And some clothes have graphics that are just downright scary to kids.

Whatever the reason, one of the ways to help children with anxiety is to create a personal uniform, using only the basics they reliably wear.

“Uniforms” Are An Easy Way to Help Children With Anxiety

A lot of people tend to think of uniforms as a restrictive thing, but since this is a personal uniform, created around your specific child that you have complete control over, I tend to think of it as hitting the sweet spot to fight childhood anxiety. It really is one of the simplest ideas to help children with anxiety.

First, the clothes are based on what your kid already likes, so they have control.

Second, the options are limited, so they’re not overwhelmed every time they open the dresser or closet.

“Uniform” examples

In my house, pocket t-shirts are a big hit. (I don’t personally get it, but they unquestionably make my son happy, so I roll with it!) So, in the summer, we can do solid pocket t-shirts, plus neutral shorts.

Keeping it to the basics helps with the matching aspect so I don’t have to send kids back upstairs to change, creating frustration for everyone. In the winter, we really don’t mess around with too many layers. So, it’s jeans and plain long-sleeves to keep the choices, and the overwhelm to a minimum.

Where We Find the Basics

We stumbled into Primary a few years ago when we were creating a homemade “green ninja” costume for my then 6-year-old. And at that point, it felt close to a miracle to find plain, green pajamas in a size 7!

I love Primary’s mission to create clothes that don’t say nonsense like, “I’m too pretty for math” or have a million graphics on them. Just because my kids tend to be on the big side, that doesn’t mean they should have to wear clothes with designs meant for boys 2-3 years older than they actually are. I just want my 4-year-old to look like a 4-year-old? You know? (OK, rant over!)

Primary’s quality of fabric is awesome, which means I can hand these bad boys down for yeeeaaaars. And they’re the basics, so they never go out of style. Which is good, because we’re part of an 8 boy hand-me-down chain. I’ve come to realize that investing a little more for the oldest one saves me a ton of money.

Some of my favorites for the uniforms for boys are:

(sorry- mom of all boys here, not trying to be biased. It’s just what I know! There are tons of cute options for girls, too!)

Managing Childhood Anxiety With A Uniform

Trust me, I am absolutely aware that this is not a complete solution. Still, anytime you can use a simple idea to help children with anxiety have control and reduce their overwhelm -it’s a win in my book!

That’s what easy wins are good for. Taking the edge off, and building momentum. And really, if you’re a parent of a kid with anxiety, what wouldn’t you do to start the day right with your child?

Is this something you’ve already tried out? Share what sort of uniform works for your kid in the comments below!

About Alex

Alex is a Marriage and Family Therapist with 10 years experience, who is passionate about happy families. She is adamant that happy families start with parents who have the knowledge and tools they need, and who aren’t stressed out to the max. And she wants to help your family thrive!

The other day, my 8-year-old was a captive audience in the van. And I wanted to touch base with him about something that had been on my mind. So, I asked, “Honey, I’m curious, do you ever think about climate change? Is it something you have any feelings about?”

His immediate answer? An emphatic YES. “Oh really?” I said. “Yeah, I have tons of feelings about it.”

“Really? Which ones?”

“Well, just one type of feeling…Worry.”

That caught me off guard. I don’t know why it did; everything points to the fact that he should be worried. But as a mom, I wanted to brush this back under the rug. To tell him, “Oh, it’ll all be ok. The grown-ups will fix this. Don’t worry.”

But, therapeutically, this is unhelpful at best, and damaging at worst. He’s allowed to experience whatever feelings he has.

I also know too much to believe that any of what I wanted to say is actually true.

But most importantly, I know he’s not alone.

What Is Climate Anxiety?

It really is just what it sounds like. It’s anxiety, specifically based on concern or worry about the environment and/or climate. You may also hear it called eco-anxiety.

Excessive worry over weather patterns, melting glaciers, extinction, over-population, plastics (and the list goes on) are all examples of climate anxiety. It can become paralyzing for kids, and adults, alike. If your kid is experiencing climate anxiety, and it can spiral into hopelessness and a fairly existential crisis if left unaddressed.

Is Climate Change Actually Causing Anxiety?

The American Psychological Association did release a paper addressing the interplay between mental health and climate change. Essentially, they answered the question, “Is climate change causing anxiety” with a resounding YES.

Although it’s not currently in the DSM-5, which means you can’t get an actual diagnosis, you can receive climate anxiety counseling.

The good news is that there’s a fine line between overwhelming and paralyzing anxiety about the climate, and a sense of urgency that pushes us into action. When addressing eco-anxiety with our kids, we’re ultimately going to focus on ways to take individual action.

How to Talk To Your Kids About Climate Change

Climate change is a HUGE topic, with lots of moving parts. But personally, teaching my kids about these giant topics and getting to emphasize the parts that I value the most, is one of my favorite parts of parenting!

So, just like with any other large, sometimes challenging concepts (think sex, or religious beliefs) it’s best to go slow, and start with the basics.

Start with a foundation of what nature is, and grow an appreciation for it! Spend time at parks, on walks, or visiting nearby National or State parks. This step cannot be understated. And it should be repeated as often as possible.

And then proceed based on the developmental level of your child. A 4-year-old and 10-year-old are going to be able to think- and process their feelings- about climate change very differently!

If you’re looking for a few books to help explain climate and the environment to kids, here are a (very) few recommendations:

National Parks of the USA by Kate Siber
The Honeybee by Kirsten Hall, illustrated by Isabelle Arsenault
What Is Climate Change by Gail Herman (in the style of the Who/What Was? series)
Not For Me, Please! I Choose To Act Green by Maria Godsey, illustrated by Christopher J Kellner
Who Turned Up the Heat? Eco-Pigs Explain Global Warming by Lisa S. French, illustrated by Barry Gott
A Kid’s Guide to the Green New Deal- How to Save the Planet, (Ebook) by Billy Goodman, illustrated by Paul Meisel

Hope and Action are the Best Solutions for Climate Anxiety

I know it can be tough, especially if you’re experiencing eco-anxiety yourself- but try to leave your kid with an actionable step (keep reading for a few ideas), and a little bit of hope. Try to leave the apocalyptic imagery and most of the doom and gloom out of your discussions.

Finding a balance between urgency is terror is hard. But giving them hope is one of the best ways to avoid climate anxiety or depression, while still raising a kid who cares about the environment.

RESOURCES TO GIVE YOUR CHILD HOPE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT

- If you’re struggling to think about the positives yourself, The New Climate is an entire site dedicated to sharing positive environmental news.
- 5 Positive Environmental Stories from 2018
- And because kids love animals, here’s a story about animals that have been saved from the brink of extinction.

[bctt tweet=”Hope and action are the best solutions for climate anxiety.” prompt=”tell a friend”]

How Kids Can Address Climate Change, by Age Group

Climate change is a problem too large for any single person- or even country- to solve. Which is the paradox that has led to so much inaction over the decades. Psychology even has a term for this: the bystander effect.

Effectively, the more bystanders are around, the less likely they are to assist a person (or in this case, an environment) in distress. The thought process is, “Oh, there are plenty of people here. Someone else MUST already be doing something about that. I don’t want to intervene, I’ll just get in the way.”

And while those thoughts are pretty typical, they’re wildly unhelpful.

To help combat the bystander effect, and get your kid engaged in protecting the environment, encourage your kid to think about their efforts multiplied by 7.7 billion.

Action is the number one tool to help kids cope with climate anxiety.

Actions to Help Kids Cope with Climate Anxiety & Save The Environment- Toddlers and Preschoolers

For the youngest kids, (toddlers and preschoolers) these are easy introductions that will help to start build a habit. Most of these actions will focus on what they can do around the home, because in the toddler, preschool and even early elementary ages, their world isn’t that big.

Plant something. The larger the better. But even an herb will do. A tree is great, but the point at the younger ages is an appreciation of nature.
If they like pushing the kid-size carts at the store, have them be in charge of their own reusable bag at the store
Teach them to put clean or lightly-worn clothes back in their drawers (thus reducing the amount of laundry to-do)
Do a garbage pick-up at a local park
Have them be in charge of turning off lights when people leave a room
Let them help put winterizing caulk in drafty windows (the stuff that’s like a rope of putty)
Teach them to recycle
Creative Family Fun has a list of ideas of activities for kids who want to save the Earth

Actions to Help Kids Cope With Climate Anxiety & Save the Environment- Elementary School

As kids grow, their world view grows. A 4th grader is much more aware of the world around her, and more capable of interacting with it. While building on the ideas above, these ideas will start including other places in their life (school, etc.) and advocacy.

CLIMATE ACTIONS FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS:

Build a rain barrel. Here are 30 ideas for DIY rain barrels, so one is sure to fit your family’s needs!
Start identifying and trying to avoid single-use plastics
Build- and use- a compost bin (bringing the compost from the kitchen to the bin every night is a great chore!)
Have them help with meal-planning/grocery shopping by choosing a meatless meal (or two!) for dinner this week
Help them calculate your family’s carbon footprint with an online tool. Brainstorm ways to reduce it; write down your score or take a screenshot, and then compare it 6 months later to see if your efforts are working.
Let them walk, bike, or ride the bus to school at least one more day per week than they already are.
Ask their school (or church, etc.) to begin a compost program, or to increase their recycling program.
Work on delayed gratification. If we all- including adults- practiced more delayed gratification, we could reduce our impulse consumerism drastically.
Explore the idea of receiving experiences, like tickets for an event, as gifts, instead of toys or clothing.
Take them to thrift stores to purchase gifts for others. I typically take my kids (who’s budget is $1-$3) to the Dollar Store to buy presents for the brothers during Christmastime. We could go to the thrift store instead and achieve the same goal, AND avoid all the carbon emissions that come with making cheap plastic toys.

Actions to Help Kids Cope With Climate Anxiety and Save the Environment- Middle and High Schoolers

These steps are going to continue building on the work you’ve already done, and continue with the theme of expanding the size of the world.

Honestly, for responsible and thoughtful teenagers, (and preteens!) there are no limits to what they can do, and how many people they can influence. See: Greta Thunberg.

(Side note: if you don’t understand why your kid is up in arms about climate change and experiencing eco-anxiety, watch Greta Thunberg’s speech to the UN. It’s only 4ish minutes long, and is a powerful indictment against business as usual.)

There are nearly limitless ideas for ways to get involved for this age-group. We’re only limited by our creativity here! So, I broke down the actions into individual steps they could take, and larger scale, or ‘big picture’ ideas.

INDIVIDUAL CLIMATE ACTIONS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS & HIGH SCHOOLERS

Teach kids to sew so they can mend small holes or rips in clothes
Give them permission to bug you to make changes.
Get serious about biking and walking places; organize carpools when the distance is too far.
Find a way they can use their skills to fight climate change. How can they contribute with their unique skills? We’re going to need writers, leaders, engineers, teachers, farmers- and more- to solve this! So what angle would engage your kid the most?
Teach them to plan, purchase ingredients for, and cook a meatless or zero-waste meal (or two!)

BIG PICTURE CLIMATE ACTIONS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS & HIGH SCHOOLERS

This is the list of actions for teens and pre-teens who want to get involved in protecting the environment on a larger scale. Here are some “big picture” ideas:

Encourage them to take political action. Individual changes, while important, aren’t going to be enough to keep us under 1.5 degrees Celsius to prevent irreversible global changes. So, we’re going to need sweeping changes that have to start at the political and/or business level. Some examples are:
- Participating in climate marches
- Writing to government representatives- and don’t forget the local and state reps! Big changes can happen on a city or state level!
- Joining a movement like Sunrise Movement, or faith-based options like The Global Catholic Climate Movement.
- Voting for candidates who are serious about taking steps to reduce our impact on the climate. (If they’re not 18, and you’re willing to vote on their behalf, teach them to do their research and ask who they’d like you to vote for.)
ENCOURAGE THEM TO SHARE NEW IDEAS! This one may be the most important. They are looking at this problem with a fresh set of eyes, and a new perspective. Encourage them to share what solutions they may see, listen, and help them put these ideas into action if possible.

What Can We Do About Climate Anxiety and Kids?

As adults, we understand there is a deep urgency to addressing climate change. But it’s absolutely overwhelming to our kids. When we present information in a way like, “Here are the Top 10 Environmental Issues That Should Make You Worry,” (not kidding, a real title of an article from some of the first research I was doing for this post) we aren’t giving our kids the tools they need to cope with climate anxiety.

Instead, what they end up hearing is, “Things are so out of control that the adults can’t handle it, so yes, you as a 7-year-old should be worrying about this.”

What we do, and the tone we set as parents deeply matters if we want our kids to be able to cope with climate anxiety, and ultimately be able to DO something about it.

We can explain the basics, foster an appreciation of the natural world, find cause for hope, and find ways they can take action.

Because actions always feels better than anxiety.

Do you think your kid is suffering from climate anxiety? Have you asked? How has climate change affected your family?

Category: Anxiety