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A Simple Idea to Help Children With Anxiety

It’s 6:45 am, and I can hear him screaming 2 floors away. I grumble, set down my coffee, and make a sarcastic remark about “another great day” as I head up the stairs to sort this out.

Anxiety has destroyed the peace in my house.

OK, I have 3 boys. Maybe not the peace. But definitely the joy.

What wouldn’t I give to start the day with happiness? With little smiling faces coming down the stairs?

Instead, I see little faces who have already lost the battle with control and overwhelm, and can’t bear for me to even say good morning to them.

Managing Anxiety In Kids Under 10

In my experience, managing anxiety, especially childhood anxiety, is about creating a balance between control and overwhelm. When you have anxiety, you have the sense that you can’t control anything.

Which can be a big problem, because kids don’t naturally have a lot of control.

One easy way to give that control back to them is to give them specific times and tasks that they can assert their independence. Not only will this help them gain a bit of control- it’s completely developmentally appropriate!

[bctt tweet=”Managing childhood anxiety is about creating a balance between control and overwhelm” prompt=”tell a friend”]

The Simple Idea to Help Children With Anxiety

Let them choose what to wear.

The specific solution I’m sharing today is letting your kid choose what to wear in the morning (or the evening for pjs) and then dress themselves. And the nice thing about this task is that, for as long as your kid is wearing those clothes, they are a reminder that they were able to make a choice for themselves.

Even kids as young as 2 can choose their clothes! And it gives them such a sense of satisfaction. Has your kid even come to you, fully dressed in the morning, with that look of pride on their face? The look that says, “Hey, I’m awesome, Mom! Look what amazing thing I did!”

And while that look definitely wears off for slightly older kids, they still love the chance to start expressing themselves and their personal choices.

Yes, your kid may decide to wear plaid and stripes together, or may decide that a neon orange athletic shirt is a great look under a button-down. As long as they’re dressed appropriately for the weather, just think of it as a chance to choose your battles. 😉

Clothes Can Cause More Anxiety

Unfortunately, sometimes the clothes can be more of a struggle than a solution. A kid with anxiety can easily get overwhelmed if there could be too many choices.

Or a child with perfectionist tendencies may get stuck, doubting their ability to match something.

Maybe the clothes are uncomfortable for your kid, and there are weird seams or tags they need to avoid. (It’s not uncommon for kids with anxiety to also have sensory issues.) And some clothes have graphics that are just downright scary to kids.

Whatever the reason, one of the ways to help children with anxiety is to create a personal uniform, using only the basics they reliably wear.

“Uniforms” Are An Easy Way to Help Children With Anxiety

A lot of people tend to think of uniforms as a restrictive thing, but since this is a personal uniform, created around your specific child that you have complete control over, I tend to think of it as hitting the sweet spot to fight childhood anxiety. It really is one of the simplest ideas to help children with anxiety.

First, the clothes are based on what your kid already likes, so they have control.

Second, the options are limited, so they’re not overwhelmed every time they open the dresser or closet.

“Uniform” examples

In my house, pocket t-shirts are a big hit. (I don’t personally get it, but they unquestionably make my son happy, so I roll with it!) So, in the summer, we can do solid pocket t-shirts, plus neutral shorts.

Keeping it to the basics helps with the matching aspect so I don’t have to send kids back upstairs to change, creating frustration for everyone. In the winter, we really don’t mess around with too many layers. So, it’s jeans and plain long-sleeves to keep the choices, and the overwhelm to a minimum.

Where We Find the Basics

We stumbled into Primary a few years ago when we were creating a homemade “green ninja” costume for my then 6-year-old. And at that point, it felt close to a miracle to find plain, green pajamas in a size 7!

I love Primary’s mission to create clothes that don’t say nonsense like, “I’m too pretty for math” or have a million graphics on them. Just because my kids tend to be on the big side, that doesn’t mean they should have to wear clothes with designs meant for boys 2-3 years older than they actually are. I just want my 4-year-old to look like a 4-year-old? You know? (OK, rant over!)

Primary’s quality of fabric is awesome, which means I can hand these bad boys down for yeeeaaaars. And they’re the basics, so they never go out of style. Which is good, because we’re part of an 8 boy hand-me-down chain. I’ve come to realize that investing a little more for the oldest one saves me a ton of money.

Some of my favorites for the uniforms for boys are:

(sorry- mom of all boys here, not trying to be biased. It’s just what I know! There are tons of cute options for girls, too!)

Managing Childhood Anxiety With A Uniform

Trust me, I am absolutely aware that this is not a complete solution. Still, anytime you can use a simple idea to help children with anxiety have control and reduce their overwhelm -it’s a win in my book!

That’s what easy wins are good for. Taking the edge off, and building momentum. And really, if you’re a parent of a kid with anxiety, what wouldn’t you do to start the day right with your child?

Is this something you’ve already tried out? Share what sort of uniform works for your kid in the comments below!

About Alex

Alex is a Marriage and Family Therapist with 10 years experience, who is passionate about happy families. She is adamant that happy families start with parents who have the knowledge and tools they need, and who aren’t stressed out to the max. And she wants to help your family thrive!