Why Create An After School Routine For ADHD Kids?

Think of it this way: Your ADHD child is like a 2-liter bottle of soda-pop.

They’ve been shaken up all day at school and they’re ready to burst. You can see the plastic seams by the cap starting to expand pull apart because they want to just explode!

Everything they went through at school today- from playing with equally energetic friends to sitting still for teachers to trying their hardest to focus on a lesson- has shaken that little pop bottle more and more. And the pressure inside that plastic bottle is immense.

Without any plan in place to help them calm down, or release the pressure slowly and evenly, they will burst.

And it won’t be pretty.

Of course, some days they’ll burst before they even get home. And some days it’ll be the safety of your arms that lets them relax enough to feel safe ‘exploding’ with you.

It’s not fun for them, either. To be so out of control. To be feeling like they can’t contain themselves, and can’t put themselves back together.

So, back to the question, why would you create an after-school routine for a kid with ADHD? Because you both deserve better.

Benefits of an After School Routine for Kids With ADHD

There are so many benefits of having a strong routine or structure in your home. Especially for kids with ADHD, or lack of focus, or impulse control problems!

It can seem counter-intuitive, but kids continue to need structure when they come home from school (they seem like they need to just ‘be free’ after having structure all day). Having a predictable schedule when they come home from school can provide a smooth transition and a sense of security and safety. 

Second, structure helps limit the impact of distractions and helps by pre-setting priorities throughout the day. Which are two major problems kids with poor impulse control struggle with. 

So, having a before and after-school routine helps establish some guidelines for kids, and helps narrow their focus. They don’t lose time in the morning wondering if they should get dressed first, or eat breakfast first, or maybe just go ahead and turn on the TV because they’re overwhelmed and distracted by all the thoughts bumping around in their mind.

Questions & Myths About After School Routines for Kids with ADHD

Won’t it make home feel like school? Or a jail?

• Structure isn’t restrictive. Think of no structure as a blank page, and structure as a coloring book. But, you’re not limited to just the picture with a coloring book; you can improvise, add things in the white space, or just color in the lines. The blank page can seem free-ing, but many kids freeze when given a blank page with zero instruction.

I’m already really busy, and this seems like an additional task I just can’t take on

• It’s not hard to put a structure into place. And the nice thing is you can do it bit by bit! It’s one of those things in life where a little bit of work up-front makes your life so much easier in the long run.

I don’t want to nag my kid about one. more. thing.

• If your teen or kid is struggling with impulse control, you’re already reminding them a million times a day to do (or not do) a bajillion different things. Giving your kid a routine will NOT increase what you’re reminding them about- it will give structure and predictability to what you’re telling them to do. For example, in the morning, instead of shouting, “Turn off the TV! Did you brush your hair? And your teeth? And change your underwear? Is your bed made? Did you eat breakfast?” you can use the morning routine to help trigger all those behaviors. AND, it’ll help your child learn some basic task management!

This seems like something that other families do. It wouldn’t work at my house.

• First, your family CAN do this. Second- if your reasoning is that you’re too busy, you work outside the home, you have more kids than those other imaginary families, or your kid has worse ADHD, or whatever other reason makes it harder for your family to do have a schedule- I’d argue that you NEED this at your house even more. You are more than strong enough and smart enough to use a before-school and after-school routine in your home.

How to create a routine that works for your ADHD Child 

There are a couple ways to go about creating a routine. For example, it can be a daily, or a weekly, routine. IE, every day at 4 I do my homework, or every Saturday morning I do my chores. However, if you’re working with a kid who has a challenge focusing, you’re more likely to have success if you start with a daily schedule.

My best suggestion is to focus on one time of the day, and avoid starting with your most challenging time. So, if the mornings are your toughest time with your kid or teen, starting with the nightly routine would make the most sense, and get you the most traction. You want to make this easy for yourself and your child! 

Start with small successes and build from there!

Printable Daily & Weekly Chart for Bedtime, Before School, and After School Routines

I have a printable daily schedule template for you to use. It’s divided into three sections- morning (for before school routines), afternoon (for after-school schedules) and evening (for bedtime routines). 

There’s a page of this PDF that can be used for a whole week,  or you can take things day-by-day with the daily page. For kids who get overwhelmed easily, or who have a lot going on, the daily chart is a great option.

I have a few suggestions to help get your brain going for creating routines that work for your family.

Morning Ideas/Before-School Routines:

• A set wake-up time
• No TV or screens in the morning
• A consistent order of responsibilities (have the same pattern every day: wake-up, brush teeth, get dressed, make bed, eat breakfast)
• Include a healthy breakfast
• Lay everything out the night before; clothes, shoes, backpacks, lunch boxes, coats/mittens, etc.
• Use a certain playlist to cue the fact that it’s morning routine time.

Afternoon Ideas/After-School Routines:

• Have a healthy snack prepped for when kids get home
• Make outside play-time mandatory (There’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing!) There’s a critical link between physical activity and a kid’s physical and mental health.
• Use a scheduled/established homework time, when you can plan to stay close.
• Work with your child’s teacher(s) to see if you can have a reasonable time-limit on homework. Some teachers go by a general guideline of 10 minutes per grade level. For example, a 3rd grader wouldn’t be expected to do more than 30 minutes of homework per night.
• Have a reward (family time, playtime, a certain toy/activity becomes available) after homework.

Evening Ideas/Bedtime Routines:

Don’t forget about a solid nightly routine for your kid or teen! Set yourself up for success in the morning by making sure you have a well-rested kid.

• Have some screen-free wind-down time. They can calm down by reading books, playing puzzles, or coloring.
• Layout everything for the next morning
• Have the same routine daily; it will start triggering their brain that it’s about time for sleep if you can help them be consistent.
• Use scents or a warm shower/bath to your advantage.
• Make bedtime rewarding by having it be a time you read a special book to them, or when you do snuggles, or a special ‘tuck-in’ routine.
• Make sure phones/tablets/computers are charging in a different room overnight. Remove the temptation to get back out of bed!
• Optional- Talk to your pediatrician about if melatonin is a good option for your kid.

Kids Thrive With Structure 

Give your kid the comfort of having a before and after school routine. It’s important for all kids, but possibly even more so for kids with ADHD.

Even a loose structure or routine can help you all have a sense of order, peace, and security. Kids need to know what to expect next, and you can play a critical role in that by providing routine. 

Please, share in the comments below, what’s been the best benefit for you in having a nightly, morning, or after school routine for ADHD?