Affiliate disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Should you choose to buy from these links, I will receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you. Learn more here.
Solving Your Kid’s Sleep Problems
MY KID HATES TO GO TO SLEEP
Why don’t kids like to go to sleep? It’s a nearly universal truth that kids will try to avoid bedtime and naptime like a cat avoiding water. (I’m literally writing this as my 1 year old is yelling his protest about being put down for naptime!)
But even teenagers resist the chance to get more sleep by going to bed early. Although that phenomenon is largely explained by a developmental shift in their circadian rhythm, it still doesn’t compute with us as adults! Ugh! If only they knew what we knew…they’d sleep as much as they could!
But since that isn’t the reality that we’re facing, it’s probably best to look at the challenges head-on so we can find some solutions.
Types of Sleep Problems
There are a couple different sleep problems your kid could be facing. So to find an appropriate solution, you need to correctly identify the problem.
This is not an exhaustive list, just some common problems. Sleep problems can also be an indicator of a medical issue, so if it persists, please consult a doctor.
1. Fear of Sleep
For some kids, falling asleep can be frightening. It’s a dark unknown, and who knows if you’ll even wake back up! These kids might be suffering from nightmares and/or night-terrors, which could be causing the fear, and feeding into a vicious cycle. It would also be common for kids to struggle with fear of sleep if they recently suffered a loss.
2. Anxiety
Anxiety might take the form of making your kid’s mind race to the point where they have trouble falling asleep. If you knew you were doomed to lay in bed for 90 minutes every night before you could sleep, thinking about the things that went wrong or things left undone, you wouldn’t want to go to bed either!
3. They’re Not Tired
Your kid may physically not be ready for bed. They may have napped late in the day, or maybe they just weren’t physically active enough. Additionally, teenagers start to develop later circadian rhythms, which means even if you sent them to bed at 9pm and they complied, they may not be able to fall asleep until 11. Blame nature for that one.
4. They Don’t Want to Stop
Whatever they’re doing right before bed is so engaging that they don’t want to quit. Or maybe your kid believes that the night is a magical time when the rest of the world is having fun without them. (Proving you’re never too young for FOMO.) Whether that’s the middle of a video game (more on screen time later!) or a chapter of a particularly good book, they just can’t put it down. And even if they do physically put it down, it’ll be racing through their minds for a while.
These can all be found in the Freebie Library!
SOLVING THE SLEEP PROBLEMS
I always recommend starting with the basics. Everyone needs a bedtime routine, including a consistent bed time. And all screens should be off at least a half hour before bed, although an hour before would be best.
Additional Sleep Interventions
If the basic bedtime routine isn’t working. It’s time to try some new solutions, and soon. Because we can all agree- sleep is precious.
1. Remove the Screens
Make sure all screens are removed from the bedroom. You could try being the ‘nice guy’ by telling your kid it’s because you’re being helpful and want to make sure devices are charged for tomorrow. Or, use a family docking station, and get your kid into the habit of placing it there before bed themselves.
2. Check with The Pediatrician
If your child is on any medication, it could be worth checking if this is a side-effect, and if a change might be warranted. At minimum, you would want to bring this up at their next well-check.
3. Checking Into Supplements
Since you’re already talking to the pediatrician, you could discuss if melatonin, magnesium, or other supplements are a path you may want to pursue.
4. Make Sure They’re Active
It’s a well-know fact that kids aren’t as active as they once were. So make sure they’re getting plenty of physical activity. Maybe plan a family hike once a week, or encourage your kid to play outside or ride their bike when they tell you, “I’m bored.” Making sure kids get outside all year is important, too. One of my favorite sayings is, “There’s no bad weather, just bad clothing.” Meaning, (generally) dress for the weather and you’ll be fine!
If your child is competitive, you could try using a fitness tracker watch, like the Fitbit for Kids or an off-brand version. You can have them challenge themselves, or a family member!
5. Watch out for caffeine
Caffeine seems like it’s sneaking into everywhere now! Obviously, make sure your kid isn’t drinking coffee at 6pm, but look for the more covert places it could be, like soft drinks, chocolate, chocolate or coffee flavored foods, and medications like Midol and Excedrin (PMS and migraine relief, respectively).
6. Cue the Transition with Music
When it’s time for ‘wind-down time’ (my favorite term I learned from our favorite daycare provider!) help create the mood by playing relaxing music. You simply set a timer on your phone or tell Alexa to play soothing music at a certain time.
The genius of this is that over time, you can actually condition your kids to this music! After using this routine for a while, your kids may hear this music and actually start to feel sleepy! I love how our brains work!
7. Weighted Blankets
Weighted blankets can be useful for people with anxiety, Autism, ADHD, sensory-processing disorder, and general sleep problems. They’re wonderfully comforting, and can help your kid feel secure in their bed for a full night’s sleep.
8. Darken the Room
Create the best sleep environment you can by making sure the room is cool (not cold), free of distraction, and dark. Blackout curtains can be your best friend if you’re battling with extra light coming in through the windows.
9. Use White Noise
White noise machines have been used for everything from helping kids sleep longer, to eliminating night-terrors. Personally, when my kids are struggling with sleep problems, my attitude is “I’ll try (almost) anything once.” We did have phenomenal success with using white noise to help my two older kids sleep better.
10. Guided Relaxation
Guided relaxation is a wonderful method for relaxing your body and your mind. And it can be used for kids and adults. You can choose to use one of a number of different apps or audio tracks, or you can read below and try your hand at the self-guided version. (Make sure to grab the PDF so you can reference it later, too.) For the first few times, your kid may prefer to have you guide them through it rather than an app with a voice they don’t know.
Guided relaxation is a great solution for kids who have a hard time physically or mentally calming down enough to go to sleep.
How to Combat Sleep Problems with Guided Relaxation
The point of Guided Relaxation is to focus on your body’s sensations, instead of what is going on in your mind. It involves controlled breathing, and small, controlled muscle movements.
Start by getting into a comfortable position, and take 3 to 5 deep belly breaths. Try to quiet you mind, and just focus on how your belly feels going up and down with the breaths. Then, starting with the toes, you’ll clench different muscle groups tightly for a few breaths, and then relax. Start with the toes, and go up through the leg muscles, then from your fingers to your shoulders. Then from your stomach, to your chest, to your back and up through the neck. Make sure to include the face muscles like the jaws and forehead.
This exercise can last for just a few minutes, or you can choose to draw it out for as long as you may need.
Optionally, you can even incorporate gratitude into Guided Relaxation. (I.e.: “As you tighten your toes, think of everything they did for you today, and thank them for their hard work.) Gratitude is a wonderful antidote to anxiety, sadness and depression, and a million other things.
Check for these in the Freebie Library
Is this normal? Or something bigger?
Sleep problems can be a common reaction to normal, yet stressful, life events. Stressful events like exams, relationship/friend problems, moving, death of a relative, or an unstable living situation can all be temporary causes of poor sleep.
Sleep problems can also be related to several mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar disorder.
Once you’ve crossed the threshold of about 2-4 weeks, it’s worth calling a doctor. Make sure to document what’s going on at night so you can give the pediatrician the full scoop. Because if your kid isn’t sleeping- you’re not sleeping. And we all know the havoc that wreaks on our brains.
So, here’s to a good night’s sleep for both of you!
Related Articles
- Raising Resilient Children
- Strategies for Better Impulse Control
- Next-Level Impulse Control Activities
Pin It!
