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Happy 2020!
I love the New Year! It’s a beautiful time to start fresh, with enthusiasm, to make those changes we’ve been wanting to happen in our lives.
For me, remaining patient and present with my kids is an annual resolution (because there’s always room for improvement!). And one of the ways I try to accomplish this is by choosing my battles.
I try to let go of perfection, of housework, and of filling my schedule (and theirs!) to the brim- because I know nothing gets my anxiety going like a day filled with running from errand to errand.
I know, those are some pretty grand claims, but InstaCart has helped me get closer to my resolutions to remain present and patient by:
Being able to keep a running grocery list on the app. Out of vanilla? Just put it in the ‘cart’ and you don’t have to dedicate any more brain-space to it!
Being able to grocery shop when the kids are asleep. I make the list and place my order after everyone’s in bed! This gives me so much time back with my kids.
AVOIDING THE ENTIRE GROCERY STORE EXPERIENCE WITH TODDLERS (sorry for screaming- this can NOT be understated!)
No more getting sick because they’re licking the cart
They’re not begging for M&Ms
I don’t have to shush them in the store when they’re screaming about not getting M&Ms.
No more packing the diaper bag, bundling kids up, having them sweat and overheat in the store because we’ve been there so long, stopping the trip for an emergency potty break (even though everyone was told to go before we left), and hearing “are we done yet?” like we’re on a 10 hr drive, all while trying to follow a list and keep a rough tally of how much I’m spending in my head.
No more begging for Mac N Cheese because Olaf is on it
No more singing nursery rhymes in public the grocery store to keep my kids happy.
I’m very much in the camp that parenting is about our response to our kids, not their behavior. But geez, if I can avoid that potential quagmire of whiny behavior, and the deep breaths I’ll have to take to stay calm, why wouldn’t I?!
InstaCart to the Rescue
So instead of taking my kids out for a 2-hour excursion grocery shopping, I have the lovely people at InstaCart do that for us. My kids and I get to play, eat lunch, or even nap while our grocery shopping is being done.
And once the food has been delivered, there’s the added bonus that they haven’t been so burned out by shopping that they’ll actually help me unpack! (Or maybe it’s because I let them make forts out of the cereal boxes and canned food.)
InstaCart is an important parenting tool for me to remain patient and present with my kids.
I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s true.
Choosing your battles isn’t just the name of the site- it’s truly a manifesto of my parenting style. And InstaCart has helped me choose one less battle each week!
Pin for later!
PS- I forgot to mention that InstaCart is a life-saver when you have sick kids! They’ll deliver all the Tylenol, soup and tea that you need! And you can try it risk-free with free delivery on your first order!
Time is short, and one of our most precious resources as parents. The days somehow fly by, and simultaneously drag on forever. What I wouldn’t give for just a few bonus hours to myself per week!
Which is why we’re lured into the world of ‘parenting hacks.’ We all need any little trick we can to help us find what little time, energy and/or money we have left! But despite that, parenting hacks get a bad rap! Maybe it’s because we all recognize that there’s no short-cut to being a good parent. Which is why I can’t get behind things like, “1 magical thing to say to your kid so they never misbehave again.” We all know there is no such thing as 1 size fits all when it comes to disciplining your kids.
But when I have more mental energy, time, or money to spend on my kids- guiding them through life becomes so much easier! Being a mom (or dad!) is hard. Especially when you’re raising neurodiverse kids. So, I use any little trick I can to save me time, brain-power, or money, to make being a mom a little easier so I can focus on my kids more.
Today, I want to share my 5 favorite parenting ‘hacks’ with you. These are small things in my life, that you could implement today, that either save me time, money, mental energy, or some combination of all three.
Mom Hack #1: Using the Alarm Function on My Phone
Saves: Mental Energy
Use the alarm function on your cell phone. I use it mostly for medication reminders. Daily for vitamins and probiotics, but also for antibiotics when they get sick. I’ve used it for doctor appointments I thought I’d forget, and even picking up my kids, too!
I believe very strongly in the “look good; feel good” philosophy. As moms, we deserve to treat ourselves better than to just throw on an old stained shirt and some sweats. You also never know if you’ll be running to the ER that day, so you might as well get dressed! My kids are always 6 inches or 6 seconds away from a disaster, and I learned the true importance of getting dressed everyday when I had to rush my oldest son to the hospital in a pajama shirt when he was 6 weeks old!
Cladwell makes it super easy for me to look pulled together, using what I already own (there’s the saving money part!) because they put the outfits together for me. I just input the clothes that are in my closet while watching Netflix- I think it only took 1 or 2 nights. And then they help you identify your own style! Using Cladwell has helped me save a ton of time, too! No more staring at the closet thinking, “I have nothing to wear,” then followed by time-wasting window shopping online. And bonus- I usually plan my clothes for the whole week, so I always know that what I want to wear will be clean! (You know, until my kids put their jam-hands all over me!)
I’m not someone who really dresses ‘up’, but something about a good jeans/tee/jacket combo can make me feel like I can conquer the world. And let’s face it, some days, you need every boost to your attitude you can get!
Mom Hack #3: Getting up an hour before the little ones
Saves: Time and Mental Energy
I am not a morning person. Anyone who has ever lived with me knows that. I need a solid half-hour after I wake-up to become a human other people want to be around. So, if I wake up at the same time as my kids, I am immediately playing defense. (I’m pretty sure it was Rachel Hollis who introduced that idea to me, but man does it resonate!)
When I wake up at the same time as them, or worse, when they wake me up, I immediately feel like I’m behind. When you’re raising a neurodiverse kid, it can feel like very few things are in your control. So having one hour of my day when I get to drink hot coffee, and fuel my mind and body with positivity (scripture, light exercise, writing, setting my intention for the day, etc.) puts me WAY ahead of the proverbial 8 ball for the day.
This. Is. A. Game. Changer. Not to brag, but I have not taken my kids on a giant grocery run in over a year. And I cannot understate how big of a deal that is. You know how tight time is, and how grocery shopping never seems to fit into that schedule! And then how kids always manage to get sick on the day you were planning to grocery shop, or how they start having a meltdown in the store because the right brand of crackers isn’t in stock this week. I’ve completely avoided that for 6 months!
I’ve even started scheduling groceries to come during nap time so that I can get food put away before the vultures dive in! I literally recommend Instacart to every mom, but if you have kids who have challenging behaviors, or are sick frequently, or who need to stay inside during RSV season, or extra things that make getting to the grocery store an extra hardship, you NEED to try Instacart. If you don’t live in an area with Instacart, I highly recommend trying grocery pick-up through your nearest store, or you can even try Amazon Fresh which will also do grocery delivery.
Full disclosure- I work with a very tight grocery budget. Like, $4/day per person. For all meals and snacks. And I know some people hesitate with Instacart because it feels expensive. Personally, I’ve been able to keep the budget better under control with Instacart. When you see your list before you order, you can play around with things and really consider what you need and find swaps, etc. to get your grocery bill to the right amount for you. That way my budget is in check, every time.
This is one tool I keep in my car in case of an emergency. Some kids like to pull the whole, “I’m going to unbuckle myself while you’re driving” as a power move. Which is dangerous and infuriating.
The first time my kid tried this move, I was caught off-guard, and super-unsuccessfully tried using a blanket to wrap him to his chair. Like I said- it didn’t work. We slowly and carefully drove the 1 mile home with an unbuckled and very out of control child in the backseat. It was nerve-wracking.
The buckle protector is a small little device I just put over the stationary part of the buckle when I need, and it blocks kids from pressing the red release part down. (You can release it by using a popsicle stick that they provide, or a thin key.) We’ve tried it with the child-restraint engaged on the seat belt, and my kids couldn’t slip out from underneath, either. No more waiting for a half hour for your kid to stay buckled, and no more stress about them being unsafe! It’s a great tool to have around when kids can’t resist their impulses.
Mom Hack #6: Freezer Meals
Saves: Time and Money
Freezer meals have saved me serving cereal for dinner every night during several stressful times! Like when I headed back to work after the birth of our 2nd kid, or when my husband was working 6 days a week, and going back to school. Time every evening is at a premium. And I didn’t want to spend it in a hot kitchen yelling at the boys to stop tormenting each other.
Just having something in the freezer that could be ready to eat in an hour or so is amazing. And then you add in the time benefits from making your meal in bulk? I’m sold! There are a couple different options that I’ve tried- like Once a Month Meals, and mini-freezer meal plans from different websites (like this one from Pinch of Yum).
Lastly, I’ve been loving Kelly’s recipes on the Family Freezer. I especially love her style because it’s ‘dump and go’ which means very quick meal prep. She uses a lot of frozen veggies and canned goods to make it much much quicker. They’re healthy, and she even makes the darn grocery list for you! And there are a bunch of options to get started for free, instead of paying a monthly membership. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Since one of the challenging behaviors we deal with at our house is extreme picky-eating, I tend to choose meals based on how I can ‘deconstruct’ them. So, for example, spaghetti with meat balls and green beans is a win, because one kid can have plan spaghetti. The other can have spaghetti with marinara, and then the rest of us can have a nice balanced meal. Casseroles and soups are a great example of something that generally doesn’t work for this tactic.
Using These Mom Hacks to Help Manage Kids with Challenging Behaviors
The greater bandwidth you have, the easier it is to remain patient and use all the other tools at your disposal to help your kid. You can be more present when everything else is under control. One of the greatest struggles with challenging behaviors is that we don’t always know when they’ll strike. There’s always an ebb and flow, whether it’s measured in months or hours. Using parenting hacks is the alternative to letting everything fall apart when your kid demands your full attention.
I’d love to hear what other parenting hacks help you save time, money or energy while helping your kid with challenging behaviors! Share in the comments below!
