Is There Another Way to “Do” Father’s Day?
Families come in so many shapes and sizes- there should never be judgment about what your family looks like!
Unfortunately, if you live in a non-traditional family, Father’s Day (and Mother’s Day) can leave you feeling ‘less than’ and that you’re missing something.
Not a great feeling.
Then, to add salt in the wound, kids love celebrations. So this time of year can make them feel self-conscious about dad’s absence AND they miss out on the fun barbeques festivities from Father’s Day. Rituals are an important part of family life. They serve as anchors for the year, and give us all something to look forward to. These rituals that we do over and over again are a huge part of what is cemented in our minds as the picture of our childhood.
So even if there’s no ‘official’ dad in your kid’s life, you can still celebrate Father’s Day. It’s a win-win. Win 1- giving your kid that ritual to anchor June. Win 2- you might even start looking forward to it, too!
Here Are Some Options to Help You Start Brainstorming Your New and Improved Father’s Day:
Reclaim the holiday for your family
Rename it, and find a ritual to celebrate. Families come in many shapes and sizes; this is a day to embrace the family you have!
- You could do some volunteer work- maybe by visiting a nursing home where men may not be getting visits from their kids.
- You may want to consider avoiding places where Father’s Day will be in your face.
Celebrate a Father Figure in Your Kid’s Life
or other men who have been there. You could turn it into Grandfather’s Day, or generalize it to all fathers. You’ll be helping your kid(s) focus on the positive of who IS in their life, instead of who isn’t. You could even just write notes to coaches, teachers, neighbors, etc. Doesn’t have to be extravagent , but everyone likes to know they’re appreciated.
Ignore It and Carry On
This is still an option on the table. And it may be the best option for your family. I would make 2 recommendations with this option, though. First, I would be very upfront with this (with kids who are old enough to understand). You’re not celebrating Father’s Day because dad’s not around, and your family is great the way it is. My second recommendation would be to find another holiday to get behind in mid-June so you can have a ritual to anchor your month. Maybe your family just gets really into Flag Day now (June 14th). Or Juneteenth is on the 19th, and deserves way more universal celebrating.
Get Out There and Enjoy “Father’s Day!”
The bottom line here is this- do what’s right for your family this Father’s Day. I’m just here to support you and offer a few ideas to get you on your way!