News and Our Kids.
It’s pretty much a universal truth that parents don’t love to explain the news to their kids. I’m pretty confident that parents have been trying to shield their kids from the news since the beginning of time. In every era there has been terrible information that’s anything but child-friendly. But at the risk of sounding cliche, parents today have a special challenge. According to the Times, “today’s news is “increasingly visual and shocking,” and points to the inclusion of smartphone videos and audio clips as examples.”
And it doesn’t help that the news is everywhere. It used to be as easy as turning off the 6 o’clock news, or making sure the newspaper wasn’t lying around. But now it’s live-streaming on social networks, it’s scrolling on the bottom bar of the sports channels, it’s on the TVs at doctor’s offices. It can feel like everywhere our kids look, there is information we aren’t ready for them to have.
News aims to keep adults aware of the events of the world.
It was never meant to be consumed by children. Studies show that watching and reading the news increases anxiety in adults. So, it would make sense that news would have the same impact on childrens’ mental health. For kids, it may also lead to a perception that the world is a randomly dangerous place. It may reinforce a belief that adults are not trust-worthy, and are unable to keep people safe. That sounds like a pretty frightening place to live.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
When your son or daughter asks you the dreaded, “What does this mean?” what can the well-meaning parent do? You don’t have to lie, or pretend you didn’t hear. You CAN actually explain the news in a healthy way. All you have to do is explain what “should” happen. For example, if your son or daughter was innocently watching the college basketball tournament, they could have heard the announcers vaguely discussing Michigan State and a convicted child sexual predator. The information the commentators share is usually PG rated, but that leaves a lot to the imagination. (And we all know how vivid kids’ imagination can be!) To be clear, this happens in all sorts of news scenarios. I’m not specifically calling out this broadcast, rather, I’m using it as example.
So, when they say, “Mom, what are they talking about with Michigan State?” all you have to do is explain (briefly) what should have happened. You can say something like, “Well, a doctor’s job is to take care of people and keep them safe and healthy. That didn’t happen in this case.” There are obviously a lot of different correct answers. You could also say that adults are supposed to keep kids safe, or everyone is in charge of their own body, and so on. You get to spin this towards your values- it’s your parental privilege! The beauty of this system is that you are focusing on the positive. The vast majority of doctors do work incredibly hard to keep their patients safe and healthy. You are showing your kid what to expect from the world.
BUT MY CHILD HAS ALREADY SEEN THE NEWS STORY!
If your kid has already heard the full news story, or even witnessed it first hand- use Mr. [Fred] Roger’s advice. He famously said that his mother used to tell him, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” The point is, yes, terrible things happen. Unjust, unexplainable, incomprehensible things happen. But there are good people out there, and we can’t give in to despair, or start believing that all the goodness is gone from the world. Look for the helpers. 
Explain the News in a Developmentally Appropriate Way
We want to create citizens of the world who are compassionate and knowledgeable. And cultivating a knowledge about the world, and justice is a great step towards that goal. It’s important to do it at an age appropriate level, though. Remember this: kids under the age of reason (about 7-8 depending on the child) still engage in magical thinking. They still believe in things like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, because they don’t have a well-developed sense of reality. As a parent, it is your right and privilege to teach your child. If you believe your son or daughter is ready to learn about the news in an age-appropriate way, then you have an amazing opportunity to share the world with them. When you are ready to take that step, I have 3 suggestions for making the news child-friendly:
- Be proactive. If you know there is a large-scale event which could come up in conversation, (devastating hurricanes, school shootings, etc.) you can address it with your kid ahead of time. Let them know what’s happening, keeping in mind their developmental ability to understand.
- Let them know they are safe, and that you are safe. If you are potentially in danger (i.e. in the path of a hurricane) this is an excellent time to lovingly remind them about your family’s safety plan.
- Be the helpers. Many kids have a very deep sense of justice, and can be easily shaken by the cruelty of the world. Assist them in finding a way to help (donate to a charity, or organize a collection for disaster victims), which will in turn help restore a sense of balance to the situation.
It’s challenging to find that perfect balance- between sheltering your kid and helping them become aware of the world around them. But there are ways to help acclimate our kids, little by little, so we can introduce them to the world, instead of being terrified by it! If you would like some continue encouragement, or more practical parenting tips, sign up for the weekly email! I promise to keep it brief- we’re all busy parents. But who couldn’t use a little more encouragement?!