We’ve been hearing a LOT over the last few weeks about businesses opening back up, even if schools are remaining closed.
Many people I’ve talked to now have anxiety about the stay-at-home orders ending (in it’s current format). Which is interesting, because there was also a LOT of anxiety heading into the stay-at-home orders ending. So why the concern?
Why are we so anxious about re-opening?
There’s the obvious concern about health and safety. It makes complete sense to have some concerns about it from a health perspective! As parents, it’s literally in our DNA to worry about our kids. That’s how the human race has survived- we have to make sure our kids reach adulthood!!
But I think it goes deeper than that.
For decades now, parents have felt, “we’re too busy.” And there has quiet longing to stop this ever-churning waterwheel.
Well, it certainly stopped. And despite all the losses, many of us have found that we’ve gained something.
Maybe you’ve gained time to physically be with your kids. Or maybe you’ve gained a greater appreciation for your kid’s teachers! Maybe you’ve gained the perspective that all the stuff wasn’t really necessary. And it’s possible you’ve gained some boundaries with people who weren’t healthy for you or your family.
But part of that anxiety I’ve seen is because people found out they liked being home with their families.
And now re-opening, instead of shutting down, feels like a loss. A loss of leisure time. A loss of safety and sense of control. Even going back to familiar places, without the crowds, and with everyone in masks feels like a loss of normalcy. But most of all, a loss of time spent with people you love the most.
How do you hold on to the good parts from the shutdown?
As you head into the re-opening with your family, let’s focus on keeping what was good, and finding a way to balance that with a reintegration into physical society.
So the question becomes, what will you carry forward into the re-opening, and into your family culture, moving forward? Here are some questions to consider:
- What have we learned from homeschooling? Do we want to (intentionally) have distance-learning as part of our future education plans?
- How has our faith been changed; have we grown in faith together, or drifted? And how do we want our practice to look in the future?
- If you’ve been lucky enough to work remotely, is that something you want to try and keep in place? What about on a flexible or part-time basis?
- How has it been to have reduced extra-curriculars for kids? Are they thriving with the extra free-time to play? Or are they struggling and needing structure and contact with peers? How will you balance that going forward?
- What did you enjoy (or not) about having more time with your spouse? How do things need to change in the future to find the best balance for you?
- Did the quarantine change your family culture? Whether it’s puzzles, movies, board games, legos or just the kids being forced to play together more- what is it that you want to bring out of this with you?
- Did your family participate in volunteering, or in encouraging others with signs and cards? How did your kids feel after they were given that opportunity?
- When asked to remain apart from extended family, how did that impact you and your kids? Did having some breathing space feel good? Were you more connected than ever because video-calls actually let you have more contact than you normally would. Whatever your reaction is to that distance, what can you learn from it?
Plan for specifics of the re-opening with your family
If there are specific openings you are concerned about happening, take this chance to talk it out now. This is your moment to be proactive instead of reactive. Yes, things may open up, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be there. With your previous answers in mind, you may want to consider what your family’s plan is for:
- Sending kids back to childcare
- Going (back) to the gym
- Kid’s sports/activities
- Going back to worship services
- That family reunion that’s still planned this summer
- Vacation
- Eating at restaurants/retail shopping
- Playdates
You know your family best. And you are the one who is going to make the best choices for your family. Every family has different circumstances, which means that every family is going to do this a little bit differently.
I hope this helps you consider how to move toward that goal of a “new normal” one day, and gives you a chance to set some intentional family culture!
Write in the comments below, and let me know if you found any benefits from staying at home- I’d love to hear from you!