Disclaimer- although I am an Independent Marriage and Family Therapist, please understand I am not your child’s therapist, and none of what I say below should be construed as a diagnosis. If you have concerns about your child after reading this, I encourage you to contact your child’s pediatrician, school counselor, or local therapist as a first step to getting help.
Are you concerned that your child may be depressed? As a parent, you want nothing more than for your child to be happy and healthy. But sometimes it can be hard to tell if there is something deeper going on, or if they’re just having a bad day. Use this handy guide of the top 10 signs that your child might need extra help coping with depression, and where to go from here.
10 Signs Your Kid Might Be Depressed
1. They lost interest in activities they used to enjoy
One of the first and most noticeable signs that your child may be depressed is a change in their interests. If your child suddenly loses interest in activities they used to love, such as playing sports or hanging out with friends, it could be a sign that something is wrong. Additionally, if your child begins to withdraw from social activities and starts spending more time alone, this may also be a sign of depression.
2. Your child is having difficulty concentrating or completing tasks
Another sign that your child may be depressed is difficulty concentrating or completing tasks. If your child is struggling to focus at school or is beginning to get poor grades, it may be due to an underlying depressive disorder. Additionally, if your child seems forgetful or disorganized, this may also be a sign of depression.
I know these also overlap with some symptoms of ADHD and even Anxiety. They’re kind of like a fever- it’s an important symptoms that tells you something is wrong, but you can’t diagnose based on that alone.
3. Your child is experiencing changes in their eating habits
Changes in eating habits are another common sign of depression in children. If your child has lost their appetite or is skipping meals, this may be a cause for concern. Additionally, if your child is comfort-eating or overeating, this may also be a sign that they are depressed.
4. Their sleeping habits have changed
Changes in sleeping habits are another common sign of depression. If your child is having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, this may be due to an underlying depressive disorder. Or, if your child is sleeping more than usual or experiences fatigue during the day, this may also be a sign of depression. Whether it’s sleeping more, less, or having interrupted sleep- all of those changes could indicate a bigger problem.
5. They’re feeling hopeless or helpless
If your child feels like there is no hope for the future or that they are powerless to change their situation, this may be a sign of depression. Children who are depressed often feel like things will never get better and that there is nothing they can do to change their circumstances.
6. Your child experiences low self-esteem or has a negative self-image
Children who are suffering from depression often have low self-esteem and a negative self-image. If your child seems down on themselves or talks negatively about themselves, this may be a sign that they are depressed. Additionally, if your child withdraws from social activities or avoids eye contact, this may also indicate low self-esteem caused by depression.
7. Fatigue or low energy
Fatigue and low energy are common symptoms of depression, so if your child seems unusually tired or sluggish, it may be a cause for concern. Depression can make it difficult for people to find the motivation to do anything, so if your child seems like they’re struggling just to get through the day, it’s worth talking to them about how they’re feeling.
8. Thoughts of death or suicide
One of the most serious signs that your child may be depressed is if they express thoughts of death or suicide. This can manifest itself in a number of ways, such as talking about wanting to die, making statements about being better off dead, expressing a desire to hurt themselves, or making plans for suicide. Giving away items they cherish, and/or a sudden positive mood change can also be clues. If your child expresses any of these thoughts, it is imperative that you seek professional help immediately (In the US, 9-8-8 is a National Suicide Prevention Hotline)
9. Withdrawing from friends and family
Withdrawing from friends and family is another common symptom of depression. If your child seems isolated and doesn’t want to spend time with others, it may be a sign that they are struggling emotionally.
10. Lack of motivation
Lack of motivation is another symptom of depression. If your child seems uninterested in activities that they used to enjoy, it may be a sign that they are depressed. Depression can make it hard to find pleasure in anything.
What To Do If You See Signs of Depression?
If it’s been just one day, or a couple bad days, take a breath. Also make sure totake into account if there’s some other natural grief your child is experiencing (Death of a grandparent? Moving? Loss of a pet?)
If they’ve had a week of days where they’re more down than up, try reaching out to your pediatrician, school counselor, or local therapist. You can also read through this article about childhood depression, or these ones for help dealing with suicidal thoughts in young kids.
Beyond that, make sure that your kid knows you’re always there for them. Some distractions- that don’t take much energy, like a funny movie- are usually a welcome reprieve. You cannot tell a person who is depressed to “feel better,” or “cheer up,” any more than you can tell someone with asthma to “breathe better.” But you CAN continue to show your unconditional love for them.